ABC Day 10

So today was better than I had thought it would be. Once you binge, it's really easy to just continue to do so and say fuck it. I struggled with that today but thank god, I didn't give in. ABC Day 10 was supposed to be a fast however, I did not fast today. I had about 300 to 350 cals which isn't that bad really. I was really scared to eat anything today because I was getting occasional stomache cramping from the laxatives I took lastnight and didn't want to make them any worse. I've really, really, REALLY been craving sushi the past 4 days but I am going to wait until I hit my 3rd GW and then treat myself  =)

I was sitting here today thinking about my progress so far and how far I have to go yet. But I realized that I am 6lbs away from the 160's, which is the something I haven't weighed in over 3 years!! So I am stoked! Then after that, the 150's?! I cannot frickin wait!! I can already tell a difference so I can only imagine how I will feel once Im down another 15lbs. Last June I was 191 lbs! So I am hoping by this June which is about 70 days from today, I will atleast be down into the 140's =) And then the 130s!! OMG I cant freaking wait!!!!! lol!!

Back to Bones

Phew. So lastnight was a rough one! Took 2 laxies early yesterday afternoon. Worried 2 weren't going to work, I took a 3rd lastnight. Well, it worked alright. I woke up at around 3 am with a serious grumbly in my tumbly lol. Because I take methadone, I am also really constipated. I've actually been to the hospital 5 times now over it and the excruciating stomache cramps that come along every few months when my digestive tract has had enough! The doctor had lovely way of putting it...."Wow, you are really packed there girl." Packed? No shit! (no pun intended ofcourse) So, ofcourse taking laxitives, for me, turned into an alllll night long event. All night, running back and forth between the cold hard bathroom where my stomache commanded me to be and the soft warm solace of my bed, where my body urned to sleep away the terrible cramping in between the "sessions" lol. HORRIBLE! Now I remember why I havent taken those damn things in almost 5 years! lol! Howeverrrr, I did loose weight from this whole, um, excursion. Nothing big. Nothing impressive. But atleast I am back down to 176.6, the weight I was when I decided to stuff my gullet with stromboli the other day.

Thankfully, the cramping has ceased but the fear of them returning is what is keeping me strong today.

I will give an update a little later. I'm gonna go watch some tv or something. <3 Stay Strong Loves <3

Everyone has bad days, right?

So yesterday ended up going to complete SHIT! Instead of being a good little girl and going to the gym, I ended up having a completely planned binge!! UGH! So now I feel like total shit about myself. I am bloated as hell. Also, being on methadone, I am constantly constipated. Gross, I know, but hey this is my blog afterall lol. So I went out and got some laxatives today. I'm also thinking of doing an enema. Grossness again, sorry haha. I just feel some frickin fat and bloated!! Haven't eaten anything so far today. i still feel so full from yesterdays binge. UGH!

I'm kinda in a hurry so this is going to be short, again. My dear little betta fish has dropsy so I am leaving ina few minutes to go get her some meds. Hope she doesn't die =/ I may or may not go to the gym today. Probably not if I take the laxies.

The Devil Inside

ABC Day 8 Week 2

Stopped by the gym yesterday for a bit before they closed. Did some weight training on my legs. Hip abduction and adduction I believe is what is was called. Also did the Stepper (idk what it's called) for 30 minutes. Burnt 245 cals and went a little over 2 miles. I could have done more but they were closing. I have to get a shower and figure out what I am going to wear then I am off to the gym again =) I really hate running into people I know there. It's embarassing.

I ate more than I should have yesterday. The progressive soup which I posted about but then I also ate a 100 cal fruit and cottage cheese pack before going to the gym. I was trying to get rid of the light headedness. Then later on at night I ate some roasted broccoli with fresh garlic, sea salt, evo and italian seasoning. I love my veggies like that. The broccoli raw weighed about 2lbs and my boyfriend and I split it. I know a normal person would not feel guilty about eating that but I did and still do. I didn't gain from it but I also did not loose anything since yesterday either =/ So I am hoping that by going to the gym and not eating much today I will hit my 2nd GW by tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!

How is everyone else doing? Am I the only one still doing the ABC =/

Thinspire Me Baby

ABC Day 7 & Minus 3 lbs!

Quick post before I head off to the gym. Weighed myself today and I've lost 3 more lbs!! Which brings my current weight to  177 =) Still high as hell but I am 2 lbs away from my 2nd GW! My BMI is also now down into the overweight range instead of obese. Progress, progress, progess! However, slow it may be =) Ate some Progressive soup which was 200 cals for the whole can but I only ate (not hate as i accidentially wrote earlier lol) the carrots and celery and some broth and gave the rest to my boyfriend lol. So 65 cals maybe? Idk. I just wanted enough to keep my from being light headed and possibly passing out at the gym. I am so scared of that! I'd be so freakin embarassed!!

Running On Empty but Still Going Strong

ABC Day 6

So I never gave an update yesteday because my medicine throws me for a loop on Fridays lol. I did however manage to got to the gym as planned. I dont know if it's from taking the full dose of methadone yesterday, getting barely any calories (energy) for the past 6 days, from bicycling 11 miles and running a mile yesterday, or all of the above but today I feel like SHIT!!! I feel weak as hell. I can barely lift my arms, I am light headed and I can barely stand up! I ate one scrambled egg today and had some coffee but I am still feeling very fatigued.

I weighed in at 179.4 today which is fucking frustrating! i just want to stuff my face with a whoel tub of chocolate ice cream and then bring it all back up but I DO NOT want to resort to that! I can't. Maybe once I have  hit my 2nd or 3rd goal weight I will reward myself with a bp (how sick is that? lol) but not now. I haven't made enough progess to slip back into my binge eating habits. That is what got me to this disgustingly high weight in the first place!!

I had planned to go to the gym again today but my body just won't allow it. I am affraid of passing out at the gym which would be be really embarassing! Hopefully tomorrow I will feel up to it. Not sure what else to say exceot for I feel like death.

Hope the rest of you are having a better day than I am haha

Gyms and Drugs

Just got home from running around. On Fridays I go to the methadone clinic to get my take homes for the week. Methadone is a medicine given to opiate addicted people to help them first a) get clean and sober and b) provide long term medicinal maintenance for long term sobriety. So with that being said, it goes without saying that I used to be a heroin addict. (Thanks to my obsession with the 90's heroin chic craze made famous by the likes of Miss Kate Moss, my masochistic need to punish myself and my very unhealthy obsession with complete self destruction.)

But that's a very long and entirely different story worthy of it's very own post. Which I will probably do later tonight. So long story short, at the age of 15 and when I was my full blown grips of Anorexia, I started to do heroin with the intention of it helping me loose more weight. BAD IDEA! lol.

Just another example of how my eating disorder has totally corrupted my life and lead me down the path of total self destruction. Thankfully, I have been sober now for almost 5 years! =) Now if only I could have a healthy relationship with food, I'd be set!

But anyways, after going to the clinic I stopped at Planet Fitness to re-start my membership. I am stoked! After finishing up this post I am going to hop in the shower and then head off to the gym for a much needed workout! =)

Today is day 5 of the ABC Diet and I am only alotted 100 calories today. So far all I have had is one crystal lite - 5 cals and a few tiny shreds of skinless chicken breast because I started dry heaving and puking after taking my vitamins on an empty stomache lol. So I'm guessing it was only about 20 cals worth, if that.

I will update later tonight on my day and tell the story of how I ended up being a full blown heroin addict and also, luckily, my road to recovery =)

Have a great day everyone! Stay Strong! I love you guys! And even if you don't realize it, each and everyone of you give me such strength and inspiration =)

Thank you for that  ♥

Day 4 Update & Birth Control Rant

So I just got back from Walmart. Stopped there to by some new workout clothes because I've decided to join the gym. Planet Fitness just seems so much more inviting than my dark, creepy dungeon basement lol! I bought  black yoga pants and  black knee length sweat pants with a green clover on the hip and 'good luck' on the butt. They're really cute and since it's almost St Patties Day, I figured I'd sport my Irish Pride haha =) I also got 2 tank tops, one plain black with a built in sports bra and another pink leopard print one with a bra built in. I love my animal prints, sue me. Got some diet coke and crystal lite in pink lemonade, kiwi strawberry and peach mango. Yum, I can't wait to try some, they look so good =)

I also bought a calcium suppliment since I've shrunk well over 2 inches since I was 14 (I'm 23). The years when I should have been growing taller, I was actually shrinking. I blame the birth control shot Depo Provera. I was only on it for about 6 months and in that time I shrunk a whole 1/2 an inch! That may not seem like alot but trust me, it is. At only age 14, (before taking the depo shot) I was almost 5'8" and growing. Since then I have been literally shrinking. Studies of this shot have proven it to cause early onset of Osteoporosis in woman of all ages. According to LawyersandSettlements.com, article link here,

"Depo-Provera contains a powerful variant of the hormone progestosterone which is released through a hypodermic shot every few months. This hormone has been shown to increase the loss of bone density in women of all ages, including teen and young adult women who are in critical stages of natural bone growth. Concerns that the drug causes massive and partially irreversible bone loss in young women have led to a number of lawsuits in the US and three lawsuits in Canada."

I should really probably sue. As it literally ruined my hopes of becoming a model. I was accepted into Barbizon Modeling School and had 2 NY agencies interested but because of my obvious and untimely 'shrinking' I lost all chances to live my dream of being a run way fashion and editorial model. I could have done catalogs and stuff like that but I wasn't interested in that. *sigh* So yea, enough ranting about how my dream failed. Point being .... Depo Provera SUCKS! Don't ever take it!


Anyways, I still need to buy an Iron Suppliment because I am also very anemic. How someone of my weight and how much red meat I like to eat is freakin anemic is beyond me! lol

I've done great today. I haven't eaten anything at all so far and it's now 11:00 pm! =D But I'm getting pretty hungry so I'm probably going to make some roasted broccoli with garlic, EVO, italian seasoning and sea salt and fry up some red pepper with the same mixture. Mmmmm, it's sooo good! Low cal, low fat, freakin so tasty you could die! Seriously, try it sometime, trust me you'll love it =)

PROGRESS! ABC Rocks My Socks! lol

So as always, I woke up ridiculously late today (3pm) and immediately weighed myself. And it read....

drum roll please........

180!

Yay! I hit my first goal weight! Ok, ok, I know 180 is still disgustingly high but I have now lost 5.8 lbs and atleast I am making progress =) You got to start somewhere! And unfortunately for me, that somewhere is at an already ridiculously high weight! But I am making progress none the less. I can already notice a slight difference in my tummy area. It's visibley slimmer. And this is only day 4! I've been saying that I started a day late so it should be day 3 for me but since I only had about 100 cals on Monday and everyone else started on Monday, I am going to go ahead start counting from Monday as well. Anyways back to the subject at hand. After weighing myself and realizing that I have lost almost 6 lbs in 4 days, I started to get really excited! 6 lbs in 4 days! This is obviously working! And if I stick with it through the next 8 weeks I will have lost a drastic amount of weight and be that much closer to UGW of 115!! =D I am so happy right now. I feel uplifted, super motivated and confident that I actually can do this!

Today I've done well. As of this moment, 6:42 pm, I have only had a large cup of coffee with lite coffe mate which is about 30 cals. I am kind of hungry but it's nothing too severe and nothing that I can't handle =} I haven't worked out since, was it Tuesday?, because my calves are freakin killing. But to be honest, I think the reason I am avoiding working out is because the only area where I have enough room and privacy is in the basement. "Okay, so whats the problem with that? You're just making excuses".

The problem with that is that I live in an 100+ year old Victorian house. It was built in the 1870's I believe. The basement is a dirt floor, stone walls, damp, cold and musty. Also the fact that my boyfriends father is pretty much a hoarder in denial, the basement is also home to an array of junk. Cluttered, dirty, falling apart and stacked damn near to the ceiling! Spider and cob webs abound, it is definitely not a place in which I prefer to work out. Last time I worked out down there, I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder, behind my back and feeling totally freaked out! It's the kind of basement where you run up the stairs, certain that someone or rather, something, is chasing you, grabbing at your fleeing heels. Oh and did I mention that this house is also home to documented "Shadow People"? I've seen them. Don't laugh.  I must admitt, that I feel silly talking about this kind of thing and if you don't believe in this type of stuff, that's ok. I, myself didn't either but once you really experiance first hand numerous creepy, completley unexplainable shit like latch lock doors unlocking and opening (to the basement none the less) right in front of your eyes OR seeing shadows on the wall that are walking up behind you while simultaneously hearing heavy foot falls only to turn around and nothing is there OR seeing a darker than black Shadow in the shape of person standing down the hall and staring right at you, trust me, you'd be a believer too! lol!

As of lately, I have been all about saving money. So I thought that instead of paying the measely $10 a month to join Planet Fitness, that I would just use my own equipment to workout with. But the more I think about it, joining the gym seems to be a FANTASTIC idea LOL! =P I really do NOT want to have to go back down into that basement!

Haha ok, ok, enough with the paranormal mumbo jumbo talk....and on with the thinspo!! =)

 Before & After

Congrats on the weightloss to all the wonderful girls who are doing the ABC Diet! You guys rock! Keep up the amazing work! This will all be SO worth it in the end!!

<3 Stay Strong & Think Thin!

Lots of Ana Love!


Comments make me smile and keep me going when I am feeling weak <3

Black & White Thinspo and ABC Update

Day 2 of the ABC and I am doing great so far. =)

Woke up super late (as always lol) around 1:30. I really need to get my schedule on a more normal time. *sighs* Had a large cup of coffee to help soothe hunger pains and I've been fine since then. The coffee mate I use has about 10 cals per teaspoon, coffee I believe is 0 cals so I've only had about 20 to 30 cals today so far =) My current weight is 181.6 so I have lost since yesterday. It was 181.2 this morning so I have gained water weight since waking up. In the last 3 days, I have only lost 4.2 lbs which is much slower progress than I want. I am used to loosing atleast 2 lbs a day, sometimes 3 and up to 5!! So this pound a day shit is frustrating to me. But, I have to remind myself that atleast I am loosing. Even if I loose only 1 lb a day, in 30 days that would mean that I would weigh 155 (by April 10th), down from my starting weight of 185. Sounds great to me but I still have a longgg way to go until I hit my UGW of 115.

UPDATE
12:21 am

INTAKE
Coffee - 30 cals
Sugar Free Gum - 5 cals
Lite Progresso - 120 cals
Cottage Doubles - 100 cals

Total - 255 cals

   Black & White Love 

ABC Diet Day One

Well today is day one of the ABC Diet and I am doing great so far. Working on my second huge cup of coffee but this time I only used  coffee mate instead of skim milk and no sugar. So I'm guessing it's around 25 cals. Had some carrots and fat free veggie dip which comes to about 200 cals, including the coffees. It's honestly probably less than that though (maybe around 150) since I didn't actually weigh out the carrots or measure the dip lol since I'm lazy. But it is 35 cals for 3 ounces of carrots and 30 cals for 2 tbsp of dip. I always estimate on the high side when I don't measure properly.

I am actually pretty amazed at myself for not craving or really being hungry at all. For someone who can be a total binge queen, a proverbial bottomless pit and mostly always craving some kind off food junk, I am amazed at how I can snap back into total starvation mode so easily.  It's just, weird. I am a complete fucking weirdo with food haha. Thanks for the food issues Mom!

For me, it's easy to stay motivated, atleast so far. Everytime I look in the mirror or down at my bulging dimpley thighs, yea, it gives me great determination! My boyfriend has even agreed to respect my diet plans. Thank GOD! Everytime I have tried to slim down before, he always shoves food in my face or wants to go get pizza or fast food. I am not blaming him for all of my weight gain, as I can take full responsibility for my body but for those of you who have been in the situation where someone close to you constantly tempts you while you are trying to slim down, then you can understand how hard it can be. Especially when the room you both live in is only 13x11 feet!! There's just no escaping it for me! So the fact that he has agreed to respect my plans could literally mean the difference between failure and success for me.

I am super bored right now. The boyfriend is sleeping on the bed and he still hasn't helped me bring in my machine! >:( It will def be brought in today though! I will probably update in a little while because I am that bored and have no life lol




UPDATE

INTAKE

carrots & fat free dip - 150 cals
coffee w/ skim milk & sugar - 50 cals

WORKOUT

Tony Little Gazelle - 40 minutes
Calories Burned - 32 (lol that's so pathetic)

TOTAL CALORIES - 168 (200 minus 32)



Hope you lovely ladies
are having an amazing day! <3

Bordom and Thinspo

Didn't get much sleep. Feel asleep around 4:30ish and woke up 6am. Stayed up until about 7:30, feel back asleep until 9am, drank a huge cup of coffee and now I can't fall back to sleep lol. My boyfriends dad makes his coffee disgustingly strong, thick as syrup...enough to make your head spin so I had to put some sugar in my coffee, which sucks. I don't have any sweet & low and that stevia shit made me sick yesterday AND the day before that so I'm pretty done with that business.

Today is officially Day 1 of the ABC Diet for me. I'm super excited. Weighed myself when I first woke up this morning and only lost 0.4 lbs, which SUCKS! I want major changes! Fast changes. So hopefully the ABC Diet will do that for me. I am sooo sick of feeling so uncomfortable and concious of my body. I want my cute clothng to fit me again. Since I have gained so much weight back and my clothes don't fit me anymore, I have been hiding behind jeans and hoodies. I don't take any pride in my appearance and barely get ready anymore. With Summer right around the corner and the dreaded high tempatures and humidity, I sure as hell will not be able to hide behind baggy hoddies anymore. If I can't get down atleast 20 lbs by Summer, I'm in for a world of hurt.

If that's the case one word will sum up my Summer.... MISERABLE!!

ABC Diet

So after seeing Gymnasts post tonight, I decided that tomorrow  I will be starting the ABC Diet. I have wanted to do this diet for awhile now  but I didn't want to do it alone so I am excited that I found her blog. 

I like the fact that I will have a plan and specific restriction rules to adhere too. I could say I already started today since I've only had about 100 calories anyways lol. Hopefully, by sticking with this plan I will be able to loose a significant amount of weight within the next 4 weeks. I am really excited about this  =)

Since I now  have a specific diet plan, I want to have a specific workout regimen too. Off the top of my head, I want it to look something like as follows.

If you are doing this let me know by leaving a comment. Good luck ladies <3


Workout Plan

Mon - Gazelle Machine 30-45 minutes, P90X Cardio
Tues- Gazelle Machine 30-45 minutes, P90X Shoulders and Arms
Wed-  Gazelle Machine 45-60 minutes, P90X Ab Ripper
Thu-  Gazelle Machine 30-45 minutes, P90X Plyometrics
Fri-  Gazelle Machine 45-60 minutes, Back and Biceps
Sat- Gazelle Machine 30-45 minutes, P90X
Sun- Rest or Switch with any one day

The ABC Diet Plan

Week	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat	Sun
Week 1	500	500	300	400	100	200	300
Week 2	400	500	Fast	150	200	400	350
Week 3	250	200	Fast	200	100	Fast	300
Week 4	250	200	150	100	50	100	200
Week 5	200	300	800	Fast	250	350	450
Week 6	Fast	500	450	400	350	300	250
Week 7	200	200	250	200	300	200	150
Week 8	Fast	Slowly return to a normal diet

88 Snacks Under 100 Calories

88 Snacks Under 100 Calories

 

Sweet Tooth

1. Mini PB&F: One fig Newton with 1 teaspoon peanut butter.
2. Chocolate Banana: Half a frozen banana [this size] dipped in two squares of melted dark chocolate.
3. Frozen grapes (any color): 1 cup (about 28 grapes), stuck in the freezer for 2+ hours.
4. Honeyed Yogurt: ½ cup nonfat Greek yogurt with a dash of cinnamon and 1 teaspoon honey.
5. Spiced Orange: One orange— about the size of a tennis ball— sprinkled with cinnamon.
6. Grilled Pineapple: 2 ¼-inch thick pineapple rounds (about 1 cup), grilled (or sautéed) for two minutes or until golden.
7. Berries n’ Cream: 1 cup blueberries with 2 tablespoons whipped topping.
8. Stuffed Figs: Two small dried figs with 1 tablespoon reduced-fat ricotta stuffed inside. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
9. Oats n’ Berries:  ⅓ cup rolled oats (cooked with water), topped with cinnamon and ¼ cup freshberries.
10. Dark Chocolate: One block, or three squares.
11. Nut-Stuffed Date: One Medjool Date filled with one teaspoon natural unsalted almond butter.
12. Chocolate Milk: 6 ounces skim milk mixed with 2 teaspoons chocolate syrup.
13. Cinnamon Applesauce: 1 cup unsweetened applesauce (like Motts). Or, try this homemade version!
14. Citrus-Berry Salad: 1 cup mixed berry salad (raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and/or blackberries) tossed with one tablespoon fresh-squeezed orange juice.
15. Maple-Pumpkin Yogurt: ½ cup non-fat regular yogurt (go Greek for extra protein!) with 2 tablespoons pumpkin puree and 1 teaspoon maple syrup… like this!
16. Chocolate Pudding: One 4oz package. Try a fat/sugar free version or a homemade one!
17. Chocolate Covered Strawberries: Five strawberries dipped in two squares melted dark chocolate.
18. Tropical Juice Smoothie: ¼ cup pineapple juice, orange juice, and apple juice, blended with ice.
19. Vanilla and Banana Smoothie: ½ cup sliced banana, ¼ cup nonfat vanilla yogurt, and a handful of ice blended until smooth.
20. MYO Banana Chips: One sliced banana dipped in lemon juice and baked.
21. Baked Apple: One tennis ball-sized apple, cored, filled with 1 teaspoon brown sugar and cinnamon, and baked until tender.
22. Fruity Waffles: One 7-grain frozen waffle toasted and topped with ¼ cup fresh mixed berries.
23. Skinny S’more: Two graham crackers with one roasted marshmallow and one small square dark chocolate.
24. Cinnamon Graham Crackers & Peanut butter: Two graham cracker squares with 1 teaspoon peanut butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
25. Cereal and Milk: ½ cup rice krispies with ½ cup skim milk.
26. Milk n’ Cookies: Five animal crackers with ½ cup skim milk.
27. Warm Spiced Cider: 6 ounces apple cider with sprinkles of cinnamon and nutmeg, warmed.
28. Citrus Sherbet: ½ cup lime sherbet (about one standard-sized ice-cream scoop) with ½ sliced kiwi.
29. Café Latte: 8 ounces steamed skim milk with 1 shot espresso.
30. Jelly Beans: 25 of ‘em! Although we don’t recommend these.
31. Marshmallow Pear: ½ pear diced and topped with 1 tablespoon marshmallow fluff.
32. Protein Shake: One scoop protein powder with 8 ounces water (choose from tasty powder flavors like cookies n’ cream and chocolate peanut butter!).  
33. M.Y.O. Popsicle: 8 ounces lemonade frozen in an ice pop mold, or use a small paper cup as a mold.
34. Apple Chips: Munch on ¾ cup of kinds like these, or use this recipe

Savory

1. Carrots n’ Hummus: About 10 baby carrots with 2 tablespoons hummus.
2. Pistachios: A couple handfuls— about 25 nuts (Crackin’ them open will take more time and avoid grabbing 25 more).
3. Cheese n’ Crackers: Five Kashi 7-grain crackers with 1 stick reduced-fat string cheese.
4. Dippy Egg: One over easy egg with ½ slice whole-wheat toast, sliced (to dip in yolk!).
5. Cheesy Breaded Tomatoes: Two roasted plum tomatoes sliced and topped with 2 tablespoons breadcrumbs and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese.
6. Curried Sweet Potato: One medium sweet potato (about 5 inches long) cooked for six minutes in the microwave and mashed with 1 teaspoon curry, and a sprinkle of salt and pepper.
7. “Cheesy” Popcorn: 2 cups air-popped popcorn with 1 tablespoon nutritional yeast— it’ll taste like real cheese!
8.  Guacamole stuffed Egg Whites: Halve a hardboiled egg, remove yolk, and stuff the empty space with 2 tablespoons guacamole (avocado, lime, cilantro and salt).
9. Grilled Spinach and Feta Polenta: 3 oz polenta (about the size of a deck of cards) cooked with 1 ½ cups water and topped with 1 teaspoon feta cheese and a handful spinach.
10. Soy Edamame: ¼ cup boiled Edamame with 1 teaspoon soy sauce.
11. Dijon Pretzels: Two pretzel rods with 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard.
12. Crunchy Curried Tuna Salad: ½ cup canned tuna with 1 teaspoon curry powder, 1 tablespoon chopped red onion, and two ribs celery (chopped).
13. Greek Tomatoes: One tomato (about the size of a tennis ball) chopped and mixed with 1 tablespoon feta and a squeeze of lemon juice.
14. Shrimp Cocktail: Eight medium sized shrimp boiled and served with 2 tablespoons classic cocktail sauce.
15. Smoked Beef Jerky: About 1 ounce— look for low sodium versions!
16. Cheddar and Tomato Soup: ½ cup tomato soup with 1 tablespoon shredded low-fat cheddar cheese.
17. Kale Chips: ½ cup raw kale— stems removed— baked with 1 teaspoon olive oil at 400° until crisp.
18. Sweet Potato Fries: One light-bulb sized sweet potato sliced, tossed with 1 teaspoon olive oil, and baked at 400° for 10 minutes.
19.  Cucumber Sandwich: ½ English muffin with 2 tablespoons cottage cheese and three slices of cucumber.
20. Turkey Roll-Ups: Four slices smoked turkey rolled up and dipped in 2 teaspoons honey mustard.
21. Mixed Olives: About 8 olives.
22. Antipasto Plate: One Pepperocini, a ½ inch cube of cheddar cheese, one slice pepperoni, and one olive.
23.  Pumpkin Seeds: 2 tablespoons pumpkin seeds, sprayed with oil (just a spritz!) and baked at for 400° for 15 minutes or until brown. Sprinkle with kosher salt.
24. Choco-Soy Nuts: 3 tablespoons soy nuts with 1 teaspoon cocoa nibs.
25. Wasabi Peas: About  ⅓ cup of these green treats.
26. Balsamic Veggies: 3 cups raw peppers (any color!) dipped in 2 tablespoons balsamic reduction.
27. Cheesy Roasted Asparagus: Four spears (spritzed with olive-oil spray) and topped with 2 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese, baked for 10 minutes at 400°.
28. Cucumber salad: One large cucumber (sliced) with 2 tablespoons chopped red onion and 2 tablespoons apple-cider vinegar.
29. Spinach and Feta Egg-White Scramble: Three egg whites scrambled and mixed with ½ cup rawspinach and 1 tbsp feta cheese. Cook in frying pan or zap in microwave until egg whites are no longer runny (about 1-2 minutes).
30. Crunchy Kale Salad: 1 cup kale leaves chopped with 1 teaspoon honey and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar.
31. Chick Pea Salad: ¼ chickpeas with 1 tablespoon sliced scallions, a squeeze of lemon juice, and ¼ cup diced tomatoes.
32. Grilled Garlic Corn on the Cob: One small-sized ear brushed with 1 teaspoon sautéed minced garlic and 1 teaspoon olive oil, grilled until tender.
33. Pretzels & Cream Cheese: 15 mini pretzel sticks with 2 tablespoons fat-free cream cheese.
34.  Bacon Brussels Salad: Seven brussel spouts thinly sliced and mixed with one piece lean bacon, chopped.
35. Rosemary Potatoes:  ⅓ cup thinly sliced potato tossed with 1 teaspoons olive oil and a teaspoon of chopped rosemary.
36. Spicy Black Beans: ¼ cup black beans with 1 tablespoon salsa and 1 tablespoon non-fat Greek yogurt.
37. Caprese Salad: 1 ounce (hockey puck sized) of fresh mozzarella with ½ cup cherry tomatoes and 2 teaspoons of balsamic vinegar.
38. Goldfish: About 40 fishies…try the cheddar kind!
39. Chips n’ Salsa: 10 baked tortilla chips with ¼ cup salsa.
40. Mini Ham Sandwich: Two slices honey-baked ham with 2 teaspoons honey mustard rolled in a lettuce leaf.
41. Lox Bagel: ½ whole-wheat mini bagel with two thin slices of lox.

Sweet & Salty

1. Chocolate Trail Mix: Eight almonds, four chocolate chips, and 1 tablespoon raisins.
2. Apples and Cheese: 1 non-fat mozzarella cheese stick with half of a baseball-sized apple (any variety), sliced.
3. PB & Celery: 1 medium celery stalk with 1 tablespoon peanut butter.
4. Cottage Cheese Melon Boat: 1 cup melon balls with ½ cup non-fat cottage cheese.
5. Carrot and Raisin Salad: 1 cup shaved carrots with 2 tablespoons raisins and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar.
6. Tropical Cottage Cheese: ½ cup non-fat cottage cheese with ½ cup fresh mango and pineapple, chopped.
7. Blue-Cheese Stuffed Apricots: Three dried apricots with 1 tablespoon crumbled blue cheese.
8. Rice Cake and Almond Butter: One rice cake (try brown rice!) with 2 teaspoons almond butter.
9. Sweet n’ Spicy Pecans: Five pecans roasted with 2 teaspoons maple syrup and 1 teaspoon cinnamon.
10. Apples n’ Peanut Butter: ½ an apple, sliced and dipped in 1 teaspoon natural peanut butter.
11. Chocolate Hazelnut Crackers: Four wheat thins dipped in 1 teaspoon Nutella (or other hazelnut spread).
12. Strawberry Salad: 1 cup raw spinach with ½ cup sliced strawberries and 1 tablespoon balsamic.
13. Cacao-Roasted Almonds: Pop in eight almonds like these!

Slow Progress

I slept in really late today. Woke up  at like 6:00 pm. I have my days and nights really screwed up but the longer I sleep, the less time I have to eat. I wish that I could fall asleep and wake up skinny, loose 60 lbs over night. I cant wait until I start seeing sime real results. I did loose 2.3 lbs (lol) since yesterday so I guess it's a start. My weight is now 183.5 but earler today it was 182.6 so apparently I put on .9 lb throughout the day. It's probably just water because thats all I've had today along with some spicy v8 and green tea, which I couldnt keep down anyways. I think it was the stevia I used to sweeten it. Right after I finished the cup, I got really nauseated and ended up throwing it right up. The only thing I've had today that had any caloric content was the v8 so I've probably had around 100 cals. I haven't worked out yet today nor did I workout yesterday. I was in alot of pain yesterday from working out the day before but today I feel much better, thank god!

I really hope that when I weigh myself tomorrow that I will have lost more. I want to set a time goal for myself but I also want to be realistic about it. If all goes well, I am hoping to loose atleast 15 lbs by the end of March, hopefully more.

I have to get all of my workout/ weightloss stuff together.


Here's the list of stuff I need to get ready.

Tony Gazelle Workout Machine
3 lb dumb bells
Yoga Mat
Pull Up Bar
P90X Dvd Set & portable dvd player
GNC Total Lean WaterEx diuretic pills
GNC Cellucor D4 Thermal Shock diet/energy pills
Multi Vitamin
Calcium Suppliment

Hell, I might even brab my xbox 360 kinect, an extra tv and rent Zumba or some other workout or dance game.

My Starting Stats

So I finally mustered up enough courage to weigh myself and I had reason to be so apprehensive. So I figure I will post my currrent stats, weight, measurements and goal weights in order to keep track of any progress.

In all honesty, it is quite embarassing to post this but I am very determined to change these numbers.

Alright. Here we go....ugh

STATS

HW: 200
CW: 185.8

LW: 120

Height: 5'5"

MEASUREMENTS

tba

GOALS

GW1: 180

GW2: 175

GW3: 170

GW4: 165

GW5: 160

GW6: 150

GW7: 145

GW8: 140

GW9: 135

GW10: 130

GW11: 125

GW12: 120

GW13: 115



Pain, Hunger and Determination

Woah, it's been awhile! I completely forgot about this blog.

I did the P90X Ab Ripper workout for the first time in months yesterday and my whole torso and even my hips and legs hurt so bad!! Goes to show just how out of shape I am. Went to my Moms and picked up the Tony Gazelle machine, I can't recall what it's actually called. It's still sitting in my car though and I need help from my boyfriend (who is still sleeping) to bring it in. I am really excited to get on it today! That machine helped me loose ALOT of weight back in the day and I am hoping I will have the same results with it this time around.

I am not sure what else to say, for now. Maybe I will update on
my day later tonight. I really have been putting off weighing
myself because I know it is going to throw me into a depression.
But in order for me to gauge any results, I need to
know what I am working with.

Ugh.

Can anyone guess who this is?

SNOOKI!
She is looking remarkable compared to
what she used to look like.
To bad she just got pregnant. lol