Gyms and Drugs

Just got home from running around. On Fridays I go to the methadone clinic to get my take homes for the week. Methadone is a medicine given to opiate addicted people to help them first a) get clean and sober and b) provide long term medicinal maintenance for long term sobriety. So with that being said, it goes without saying that I used to be a heroin addict. (Thanks to my obsession with the 90's heroin chic craze made famous by the likes of Miss Kate Moss, my masochistic need to punish myself and my very unhealthy obsession with complete self destruction.)

But that's a very long and entirely different story worthy of it's very own post. Which I will probably do later tonight. So long story short, at the age of 15 and when I was my full blown grips of Anorexia, I started to do heroin with the intention of it helping me loose more weight. BAD IDEA! lol.

Just another example of how my eating disorder has totally corrupted my life and lead me down the path of total self destruction. Thankfully, I have been sober now for almost 5 years! =) Now if only I could have a healthy relationship with food, I'd be set!

But anyways, after going to the clinic I stopped at Planet Fitness to re-start my membership. I am stoked! After finishing up this post I am going to hop in the shower and then head off to the gym for a much needed workout! =)

Today is day 5 of the ABC Diet and I am only alotted 100 calories today. So far all I have had is one crystal lite - 5 cals and a few tiny shreds of skinless chicken breast because I started dry heaving and puking after taking my vitamins on an empty stomache lol. So I'm guessing it was only about 20 cals worth, if that.

I will update later tonight on my day and tell the story of how I ended up being a full blown heroin addict and also, luckily, my road to recovery =)

Have a great day everyone! Stay Strong! I love you guys! And even if you don't realize it, each and everyone of you give me such strength and inspiration =)

Thank you for that  ♥

Slow Progress

I slept in really late today. Woke up  at like 6:00 pm. I have my days and nights really screwed up but the longer I sleep, the less time I have to eat. I wish that I could fall asleep and wake up skinny, loose 60 lbs over night. I cant wait until I start seeing sime real results. I did loose 2.3 lbs (lol) since yesterday so I guess it's a start. My weight is now 183.5 but earler today it was 182.6 so apparently I put on .9 lb throughout the day. It's probably just water because thats all I've had today along with some spicy v8 and green tea, which I couldnt keep down anyways. I think it was the stevia I used to sweeten it. Right after I finished the cup, I got really nauseated and ended up throwing it right up. The only thing I've had today that had any caloric content was the v8 so I've probably had around 100 cals. I haven't worked out yet today nor did I workout yesterday. I was in alot of pain yesterday from working out the day before but today I feel much better, thank god!

I really hope that when I weigh myself tomorrow that I will have lost more. I want to set a time goal for myself but I also want to be realistic about it. If all goes well, I am hoping to loose atleast 15 lbs by the end of March, hopefully more.

I have to get all of my workout/ weightloss stuff together.


Here's the list of stuff I need to get ready.

Tony Gazelle Workout Machine
3 lb dumb bells
Yoga Mat
Pull Up Bar
P90X Dvd Set & portable dvd player
GNC Total Lean WaterEx diuretic pills
GNC Cellucor D4 Thermal Shock diet/energy pills
Multi Vitamin
Calcium Suppliment

Hell, I might even brab my xbox 360 kinect, an extra tv and rent Zumba or some other workout or dance game.