Back to the Basics

It's been a little over a year since I have posted in this blog. Little has changed. I am a walking contradiction that is EDNOS. The past year has been spent overeating, bingeing, purging, starving. My weight has fluctuated a good 20 lbs the past year, up then down and up again. It seems that I am every eating disorder wrapped into one fat, miserable body, unsure of who I am but certain of what I want to be. I find odd how I am always called back to this. This blog, this lifestyle, this illness that is Her. It's something always in the back of mind, something omnipresent, omnipotent and inescapable.


I need to go to the grocery store later and restock my supplies

Progresso
Coffee
Diet Coke
Green Tea
Carrots
Tomatoes
Fat Free Ranch
Fat Free Ranch Dip
Edamame
Broccoli
Asparagus
Garlic
EVO
Sea Salt

And lets be real here, I know one of these times I will binge and purge. It's just what I do. I don't want to plan a bp but I want to know some foods that come up easily? If and when I do, I want the easiest foods to come up so I know I can get it all out.

So far today I have had a garden salad with ranch. I have already lost close to 10 lbs this week. And I haven't even been working out. I wonder why I can loose AND gain so much within such a short time span?? I am also trying not to weigh myself everyday. Ideally, I would like to weigh myself just once per week but I have been doing it every other day.